An Old Man Calls Pizza Hut To Order A Pizza

An old man calls Pizza hut to order a pizza… CALLER: Is

this Pizza Hut? GOOGLE: No sir, it’s Google Pizza. CALLER:

I must have dialled a wrong number, sorry. GOOGLE: No sir,

Google bought Pizza Hut last month. CALLER: OK. I would like

to order a pizza. GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? Do you know me? GOOGLE: According to our

caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you

ordered an extra-large pizza with three kinds of cheese,

sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick

crust. CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have. GOOGLE: May

I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta,

arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat

gluten-free thin crust? CALLER: What? I don’t want a

vegetarian pizza! GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER: How do you know that? GOOGLE: Well, we

cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical

records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last

7 years. CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten

vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my

cholesterol. GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken

your medication regularly. According to our database, you

purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at

Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago. CALLER: I bought more from

another Pharmacy. GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit

card statement. CALLER: I paid in cash. GOOGLE: But you did

not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER: I have other sources of cash. GOOGLE: That doesn’t

show on your latest tax returns unless you bought them using

an undeclared income source, which is against the law!

CALLER: WHAT THE !!! GOOGLE: I’m sorry sir, we use such

information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER: Enough already! I’m sick to the death of Google,

Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going

to an island without the internet, or TV, where there is no

phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me. GOOGLE: I

understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.

It expired 6 weeks ago…