A Small, Balding Man Demands Double Of The Strongest Whiskey

A small, balding man storms into a local bar and demands, “Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey

you got. I’m so mad, I can’t even see straight. “The bartender, noticing that the little man

is a bit worse for the wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink

and says, “Gimme another one. “The bartender pours the drink but says, “Now, before I give you

this, why don’t you let off a little steam and tell me why you’re so upset? “The man begins

his tale. “Well, I was sitting in the bar next-door, when this gorgeous blonde slinks in and

actually sits beside me. I thought, ‘Wow, this has never happened before.’ You know, it was kind

of a fantasy come true. Well, a couple of minutes later, I feel this hand moving around in my lap

and the blonde leans over, licks my ear, and asks if I’m interested. I couldn’t believe this was

happening. I managed to nod my head yes, so she grabs my hand and starts walking out of the bar. So,

of course, I went with her. This was just too good to be true. “He continues, “She took me down

the street to a nice hotel and up to her room. As soon as she shut the door, she slipped out of her

dress. That was all she was wearing! I tell you, it didn’t take me much longer to get out of my

clothes. But as soon as I jumped into the bed, I heard some keys jingling and someone starts

fumbling with the door.” The blonde says, ‘Oh, my god, it’s my boyfriend. He must have lost

his wrestling match tonight. He’s gonna be real mad. Quick, hide!’ I opened the closet, but I

figured that was probably the first place he would look, so I didn’t hide there. Then I looked

under the bed, but I figured that he’s bound to look there, too. By now, I could hear the key in

the lock. I noticed the window was open, so I climbed out and was hanging there by my fingers,

praying that the guy wouldn’t see me… “The bartender says, “Well, I can see how you might be

a bit frustrated at this point.” “Well, yeah, but I hear the guy finally get the door open, and

he yells, ‘Who you been slee***g w**h now, witch? ‘The girl says, ‘Nobody, honey, now come to

bed and calm down.’Well, the guy starts tearing up the room. I hear him tear the door off the

closet and throw it across the room. I’m thinking, ‘Boy, I’m glad I didn’t hide in there.’

Then I hear him lift up the bed and throw it across the room. Good thing I didn’t hide under there

either. Then I heard him say, ‘What’s that over there by the window?’ I think, ‘Oh God,

I’m dead meat now.’But by now the blonde is trying real hard to distract him and convince him to

stop looking. Well, I hear the guy go into the bathroom, and I hear water running for a long time. I

figure maybe he’s gonna take a bath or something, when all of a sudden, the jerk pours a pitcher

of scalding hot water out of the window right on top of my head. I mean, look at this, I got second

degree burns all over my scalp and shoulders! “The bartender says, “Oh man, that would have

pissed me off for sure.” “No, that didn’t really bother me. Next, the guy starts slamming the

window shut over and over on my hands. I mean, look at my fingers. They’re a bloody mess. I can

hardly hold this glass. “The bartender looks at the guy’s hands and says, “Yeah, buddy, I can

understand why you are so upset.” “No, that wasn’t what really pissed me off.”The bartender

then asks in exasperation, “Well, then, what did finally piss you off?” “Well, I was hanging

there and I turned around and looked down, and I was only about 6 inches off the ground!”