Two Aliens Visit Earth

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They

approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, “Greetings,

Earthling.  We come in peace.  Take us to your leader.” The gas pump, of course, didn’t

respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, ‘I’d calm

down if I were you.’ The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.  Again,

there was no response. Pissed at the pump’s haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said

gruffly, “Greetings, Earthling, we come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire!” The

older alien again warned his comrade saying, ‘You probably don’t want to do that!  I really

think that will make him mad.’ ‘Rubbish,’ replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon

and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and blew the

younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus

patch. Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes,

straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over

him shaking his big, green head. ‘What a ferocious creature!’ exclaimed the young, fried

alien.  ‘He d**n near killed me!  How did you know he was so dangerous?’ The older alien

leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend, and replied, ‘If there’s one thing

I’ve learned during my intergalactic travels, you never mess with a guy who can loop his pe**s

over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.’