Forrest Gump Died And Went To Heaven

As Forrest approaches the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter greeted

him. “Ah, welcome, Mr. Gump. We’ve been anxiously

awaiting your arrival.” Forrest looked intently, not quite

sure what to make of the scene in front of him. “Forrest,

before I let you into Heaven, I need you to answer three

questions. Would that be alright?” Forrest nodded. “Ok,

Forrest, how many seconds are in a year?” Forrest thought

for a moment and confidently answered “twelve”. Saint

Peter was befuddled. “12?! You believe there are 12

seconds in a year?? Please explain.” Forrest replied.

“Well, there’s January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,

Apr-“ Saint Peter interrupted Forrest, “ok, I suppose

you’re technically correct. That will do.” Forrest

cracked a smile. “Alright, Forrest, how many days of the

week begin with the letter ‘T’?” Forrest thought for a

moment, furrowed his brow a bit, and then replied

“four”. Saint Peter, again taken off guard, says to

Forrest, “4?! How on Earth do you get 4??” Forrest looks

Saint Peter in the eye and said, “well, you got Tuesday,

Thursday, Today, and Tomorrow.” Saint Peter nearly fell

over with incredulity. “Ok, I suppose that’s also

technically correct.” Forrest’s smile grew. “Ok,

Forrest, lastly, what is God’s real name?” Forrest

thought about the question, his brow wrinkled, a little bit

of sweat began to form on his forehead. Then, Forrest’s

eyes grew and he said, with booming authority, “Andy!

God’s real name is Andy!” Saint Peter slammed his hands

down onto the podium, “ANDY?! How, please tell me, did you

arrive at ANDY!?” Forrest looked Saint Peter dead in the

eye and said “Like the song says, ‘Andy walks with, Andy

talks with me-“ Saint Peter sheepishly looked at Forrest

and said “welcome to Heaven, Mr. Gump.”