Romantic Birthday Surprise

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know

I shouldn’t). When I got home, my husband seemed excited

to see me and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling I have a

surprise for dinner tonight.” He then blindfolded me and

led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and

just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone

rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he

returned and went to answer the call. The beans I had

consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was

becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room

I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and

let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a

fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage

dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around

me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off

three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping

my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other

room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another

few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the

telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I

quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin,

placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling

very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have

been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,

apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peaked

through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this

point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests

seated around the table, with their hands to their noses,

chorused, “Happy Birthday!”