John Hoisted His Beer And Said

John hoisted his beer and said: “Here’s to spending the

rest of my life, between the legs of my wife!” That won

him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the

night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the

prize for the best toast of the night.” 1 She said,

“What was your toast?’ John said: “Here’s to

spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my

wife.” “Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary

said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking

buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and

said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with

a toast about you, Mary.” She said, “He told me, and I

was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there

twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the

other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him

come!”