I’m Married

Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces

himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a

couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all

clean and pressed. Bill looks around the room and sees that

it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So’s the rest

of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on

the table “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early

to go shopping. Love you.” So he goes to the kitchen and

sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning

newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Bill asks,

“Son, what happened last night?” His son says, “Well,

you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some

furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black

eye when you stumbled into the door. ” Confused, Bill

asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and

breakfast is on the table waiting for me?” His son

replies, “Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and

when she tried to take your pants off you said, “Lady

le**e me alone, I’m married‘!”