A Mother Had 3 Vir**n Daughters

A Mother had 3 vir**n daughters. They were all getting

married within a few weeks of each other. But Mom was a bit

worried about how their s*x life would get started. So she

made them all promise to send a postcard from their

honeymoons with a few words on how marital procreation felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the

wedding. The card said nothing but ‘Maxwell House.’ Mom

was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got

out the Maxwell House coffee jar. It said: ‘Good ’til

the last drop.’ Mom blushed, but was pleased for her

daughter. The second girl sent her postcard from California

a week after the wedding, and the card read: ‘Benson &

Hedges.’ Mom now knew to go straight to her husband’s

cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack:

‘Extra Long King Size.’ She was again slightly

embarrassed but still happy for her daughter. The third girl

left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a

week – nothing arrived. Another week went by and still

nothing. Then, after a whole month, a card finally arrived.

Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words:

‘British Airways.’ Mom took out her latest Harper’s

Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the

worst, and finally found the ad for the airline. The ad

said: ‘Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways.’

Mom fainted.