A Newly Wed Couple Moves Into Their New House

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the

husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey,

you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is

leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I

look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes

home from work and his wife says, “Honey, the car won’t

start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it

for me?” He says: “What do I look like, Mr.

Goodwrench?” Another few days go by, and it’s raining

pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says,

“Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix

it?” He says, “What do I look like, Bob Vila?” The

next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So

is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what

happened. “Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,”

she says. “Great! How much is that going to cost me?” he

snarls. Wife says: “Nothing. He said he’d do it for free

if I either baked him a cake or sl**t w**h him.” “Uh,

well, what kind of cake did you make?” asks the husband.

“What do I look like,” she says, “Betty Crocker?”