The Happily Married Couple

Do you fart in bed ? If this story doesn’t make you cry

for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married

for years, the only friction in their marriage was the

husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he

awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make

her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she

would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was

making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that

it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she

was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The

years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one

Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for

dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the

innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a

malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went

upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently

pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic

waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey

guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband

waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a

blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as

he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control

herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her

eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him

back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband

came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look

of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what

was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all

these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to

you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you

always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts

out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god,

some Vase***e and two fingers. I think I got most of them

back in……………….…..”