Bear Remover

A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages

and sure enough…there’s an ad for “Alberta Bear Removers.” He calls the number and the man

says he’ll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He’s got a

ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull. “What are you

going to do?” the homeowner asks. “I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then

I’m going to go up there and I’ll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the

bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his arms and not let go. The bear will then

be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.” He then hands the shotgun

to the homeowner. “What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner. “If the bear knocks me off

the roof, shoot the dog.”